11 weeks left

Almost exactly one year ago I got the surprise of a lifetime.  I knew for certain that we were suppose to have another baby.  Prior to this day I was content, happy, and what I thought for "certain" that we were done having children.  I was excited that I had reached this point in my life, and I was ready for the next phase of raising our family.  But to my surprise, I was overwhelmed with this impression, and I hoped that I just had to shake it off and forget about it.  So I did just that, or I tried to do just that.  But throughout the next several months just as I was beginning to get comfortable in my life again, I was again stopped in my tracks and reminded that I was NOT doing what the Lord wanted me to do.

Elder Bednar spoke in April's conference on revelation and this is what he said, "A light turned on in a dark room is like receiving a message from God quickly, completely, and all at once. Many of us have experienced this pattern of revelation as we have been given answers to sincere prayers or been provided with needed direction or protection, according to God’s will and timing. Descriptions of such immediate and intense manifestations are found in the scriptures, recounted in Church history, and evidenced in our own lives. Indeed, these mighty miracles do occur. However, this pattern of revelation tends to be more rare than common."


When he spoke tears fell from my face, I felt like the journey I was on, the goals I had, all of them needed to change and I needed to change direction.  But it still wasn't easy.  I wasn't sure I could do pregnacy again, and I pleaded that I wouldn't have too.  The journey that I knew I needed to travel, looked scary, hard, and inconvient.  Actually it felt impossible.

Eventually Rob and I decided to follow.

Today I am completely overwhelmed with the journey we have taken, with the changes that have occured with in myself, and with the life inside of me.  I look over the last year, and I realize I have been given a miracle. 

I cannot wait to meet this little guy. I cannot wait to experience life with him and our other children.  I wouldn't change the journey I have taken over this last year.  I wouldn't change that I felt scared, crazy, overwhelmed, nervous, and more in the beginning.  Because throughout all of this I have better learned to trust my savior and hope that the plan he has for me is far greater than the plan I have for myself.

I love Cody, so deeply.  I am almost scared to feel so much excitement for this little guy.  Because I worry the worst of the "what ifs".  But I know that whatever happens, where ever life takes us.  He is apart of our life forever.  He is our son.

So with that, hurry up last trimester.  I am starting to count down...11 weeks to go to delivery and I can't wait.  I am giddy at the thought that I get to hold you, love you, teach you, and be your Mother.